i was feeling a little un-centered today (is that i word? it should be; you know not centered, off center, out of focus …) it has been a week of burden bearing. walking alongside friends as they trudge through the deep sludge of life. my soul feet feel heavy and my spiritual breaths short and labored. gray clouds, snow, rain, and chilly temperatures have done nothing but increase the oppression of the week. (i’m greatly affected by the weather- why is it? i probably shouldn’t be so fickle, but warm rays of sunshine make my heart happy everyday- maybe i should move to california?)
this morning the sun has come sneaking through the somber clouds, and i decide i need a walk. not a, put on my yoga pants arm pumping kind of walk, a soul walk. i need to do it more; take a walk; remind myself how grateful i am to live here; see my creator: in the smooth rocks, the sun rays over the mountain, and the mountain flowers peeking up. i need to gaze on the horizon and remember there is more astir then what i see. as my feet step over brush and stride across an open field; i need to feel peace and calm.
rocks lie in the hay field; little disturbances to life. the hay will still grow, but not as well, not quite as much unless the rocks are removed. all i need do is pick them up; pile them along the fence. it’s a tiny task; it will go unnoticed by farmer seated on his tractor. but i will know; i will know that a few more sprouts will surface because they have been freed- they have space to grow. i will pick up smooth stones and know that they have weathered some time in the field, but the time has come for them to move. i will see that hearts need stirring, and rocks need moving. growth is inevitable; growth is tough. sometimes i can reach in and move stones; sometimes i can help. sometimes i can’t.
my soul thirsts for this; for walking and remembering. for picking up stones knowing that new days will come, that hearts will heal and grow. i can breath deep and exhale; i can take soul steps.