what do you know about yourself that you didn’t know ten years ago?
i got a text from a dear friend today. she was shopping and looking at socks which apparently reminded her of me. why? because i love fun socks; bright colors or happy little patterned socks, crazy socks, mix-matched socks, anything but navy blue itchy knee socks (which i had to wear with my plaid school skirt- those socks were the bain of my existence for awhile) but i’ve always liked fun socks; i mean since i was a kid- except for the hideous knee socks- i always wanted to wear fun socks. i think i may have been slightly influenced by punky brewster or pippi longstocking. there are things about me that haven’t changed much; likes and dislikes that have remained constant through my life. likes-ice cream, chuck taylors, flying, books, stacked bracelets… dislikes- snakes, olives, laundry, tent camping…. some things don’t change much. there is also the growing, and the learning who you are. i would say around the time that i turned 30 maybe a little bit before; i really began to understand myself. or maybe it was that i was finally honest about who i really am. maybe i was finally mature enough to be truthful about my likes and dislikes, my strengths and weaknesses. i’m sure some of it is just growth and circumstances and breadth of experience and change.
what i want has changed; it will probably continue to change. when chris and i built our first house we were young, our family was small. i painted our bedroom this bright blue color with a denim like finish; it was horrible. it was way too bright and hard to match and just too much for a master bedroom. but in my twenties i guess i liked it- what was i thinking? i liked our house then.
but when we sold and made plans to build again i wanted bigger. i wanted a formal dining room where i could entertain my friends at fancy dinner parties; i wanted a huge master bedroom with a sitting area and a school room where we could study and learn and keep all of our books and educational toys. our house was lovely; it was beautiful and i was sad when we sold it. i did host dinner parties in my dining room, they were never fancy- i realized fancy didn’t suite me. i stored a lot of laundry in the sitting area of our ginormous master bedroom; i have fond memories of school time with my young children in our lovely schoolroom loft.
but i have changed. i like a smaller house now, with less rooms to clean and less space to collect junk; and tighter spaces where we are all comfy together. we sit in the living room or at the kitchen table for school, and i will probably never want to change that. when we moved into our current rental home we painted all walls white- no color, no crazy blue denim business. i’d rather have a large table in my kitchen then fancy dining room. i want to cook and talk and host families with lots of messy children all around the same kitchen table.
my tastes have changed in part due to the season of life i am in. i think this is the way of it. it’s the same way that i could never choose one favorite Bible verse. they are all good. different verses speak to me specifically at different times in my life. because i’m not who i was; i’m being remade. i’m new.(there’s a little song reference for ya; do you know who sings a song with those fantastic words?) and over and over again i am new, but part of me remains the same. it’s a little perplexing, this learning myself.
so what do i know about myself that i didn’t know ten years ago? or what is some specific like/dislike or trait that has changed in the last ten years? (ten years is a long time peeps- so if it’s too long for you, i mean if you were only 11 ten years ago then you could ask yourself the question using 5 years or 1 year. i’ll bet your fashion choices have changed in ten years for sure; unless your like me hanging on to some college jeans and t-shirts.)
-i am disorganized, very seriously disorganized. i used to think that i was an orderly person but naturally i just am not.
-i am creative and i have need to create beautiful things and find beauty.
-i like asparagus.
-i’ve become a tea drinker- living in a colder climate and trying to maintain good health will do that to you.
-i’m an odd introvert; i’m happy to speak in front of a group of 100 women, but ask me to start up a conversation with a stranger in the park and i might break out into a cold sweat or run away.
-i like kale – in a good salad or sautéed in a little bit of coconut oil (it’s so good you should totally try it)
-i still like fun socks – but that’s nothing new.