soul steps

i was feeling a little un-centered today (is that i word?  it should be; you know not centered, off center, out of focus …)  it has been a week of burden bearing.  walking alongside friends as they trudge through the deep sludge of life.  my soul feet feel heavy and my spiritual breaths short and labored.  gray clouds, snow, rain, and chilly temperatures have done nothing but increase the oppression of the week.  (i’m greatly affected by the weather- why is it?  i probably shouldn’t be so fickle, but warm rays of sunshine make my heart happy everyday- maybe i should move to california?)

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this morning the sun has come sneaking through the somber clouds, and i decide i need a walk.  not a, put on my yoga pants arm pumping kind of walk, a soul walk.  i need to do it more; take a walk; remind myself how grateful i am to live here; see my creator: in the smooth rocks, the sun rays over the mountain, and the mountain flowers peeking up.  i need to gaze on the horizon and remember there is more astir then what i see.  as my feet step over brush and stride across an open field; i need to feel peace and calm.

rocks lie in the hay field; little disturbances to life.  the hay will still grow, but not as well, not quite as much unless the rocks are removed.  all i need do is pick them up; pile them along the fence.  it’s a tiny task; it will go unnoticed by farmer seated on his tractor.  but i will know; i will know that a few more sprouts will surface because they have been freed- they have space to grow.  i will pick up smooth stones and know that they have weathered some time in the field, but the time has come for them to move.  i will see that hearts need stirring, and rocks need moving.  growth is inevitable; growth is tough.  sometimes i can reach in and move stones; sometimes i can help.  sometimes i can’t.

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my soul thirsts for this; for walking and remembering. for picking up stones knowing that new days will come, that hearts will heal and grow.  i can breath deep and exhale; i can take soul steps.

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seeing beauty

the hubs and i recently had a conversation about how we see beauty.  how we choose to see beauty.  not everyone sees; not everyone chooses.  we choose to look through a different lense at the same world; trying to see through the eyes of the Creator.  to observe all the details of creation; to see the beauty because i know the Creator.  to appreciate the minor and the unseen.  to imagine and awake my soul to see all that a mountain may be; all that a aspen may give; all that a caterpillar can show me.  i’m trying to pay attention, to observe beauty, to find joy.

-my oldest obviously fighting hard to control his anger

-biggest little thanking oldest for being brave when he was hurt

-hubs hearing a song and seeking out chords to learn it b/c it is worth singing and praising

-hot potato soup with lots of cheese

-thankful friends

-spotting my favorite hot air balloon high and away early in the morning

-walking over wooden bridges

-aspen leaves all yellow

-boys all laughing in a pile

-running across a sun-crossed field

it’s all beauty and it’s all there if i seek it.  in the midst of all frustrating circumstances and undue comfort; i’m trying to seek.  i’m digging to find treasure in simple places, and to find joy in today. are you looking for beauty?  because if you really look you will see; if you truly seek you will find joy in hidden places.  where are you finding beauty and unearthing joy?

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